I might be judgmental. Some woman on Twitter said I was and I think she might be right. I literally judge things and then I write about said judgments. It’s closely aligned with my life-long hobby of having opinions. It’s sort of why I got into the writing racket. All that voicing of viewpoints just sounded fun to me.
However, it doesn’t escape my attention that men are rarely chastised for being judgmental. Men are “opinioned” and their views are more often countered with actual arguments. Men are rarely reprimanded simply for having an opinion.
Read more of my new essay at Role/Reboot here.
So, I have this Pinterest board, Mother Fucking Homemaking. It’s kinda silly, but basically the joke is that you can just half-ass a lot of stuff and it’s still gonna be good enough, but, like, with a lot of f-bombs thrown in. One of the pins is about making a “fucking baller” yogurt stir-in by cooking mushy berries with honey and someone left the comment, “Hmmm, that sounds like a lot of work.” It’s a totally innocuous comment, but it got me thinking.
Yes, some aspects of homemaking and childcare involve work. Would it be easier to throw the mushy berries out? Of course! But there is a way to save them and that is to cook them up with some honey and then use them in yogurt or perhaps even an ice cream topping, or, as someone so intelligently pointed out, freeze them into a popsicle. It’s a little bit of work though. Just a little. It’s less work than canning the berries or growing my own berries or, I dunno, baking them into a cake? Can you even bake berries into a cake? I bet you can do a lot of things with berries that I don’t know about.
I work part-time as a writer, but the pay is little and rare, so I also do freelance stuff for a school here in Hollywood. On average, I work about 30 hours a week on those combined enterprises. I also do most of the “house stuff,” like laundry, cooking, cleaning, shopping and even sewing the occasional curtain. My husband helps out plenty around the house and between that and the fact that my kids now go to school full-ish time, this is all actually rather do-able. The beds are only half-made and, best case scenario, dinner will be a simple little teriyaki chicken bowl with rice and veggies. The house is tidy, but I’m not going to scrub breakfast off the floor because I’d rather just wait until dinner is all over the floor so I only have to scrub it once. I am half-assed, but not zero-assed. Click here to read more »
Oh hai! I realize I haven’t posted in a few weeks. I got a teensy bit overwhelmed by the response to my HuffPo thing about vaccines and felt an overwhelming urge to do stuff like read books printed on actual paper and hang out with friends in person like in the olden days. I have a little case of internet fatigue that I haven’t quite kicked yet.
There was a moment when I was with my kids and reading some, let’s say unflattering? tweets about me, and I responded by yelling at my kids for having the audacity to distract me from my hate mail. About two seconds later, I was like, “Peace out, webz. It’s been real.” And then I confiscated my iPhone from myself because if life has taught my anything, it’s that there are infinite ways to be a hypocrite.
Well, that and dealing with vaccine-gate left my kitchen in an unacceptable state of disarray. I may be half-assed, but once shit gets down to quarter-assed, momma’s gotta take some action. I did that interview with Huff Post Live (embedded at the bottom of the post here) and then immediately washed off my make-up and cleaned my house in a what I think might have been a fugue state. Alls I know is that I later realized that I had done TORE UP my knuckles scrubbing something. Click here to read more »